My Husband is Hurting
Our hearts are heavy today as we mourn the loss of Grant's grandmother, Bubba. He is hurting and there isn't anything that I can do to fix it. It's uncharted territory for me not to be able to fix something broken. At work if there is a problem, I fix it. Faucet at home is dripping, I fix it. The girls break something, I fix it. This however, I can not fix.
I sent extra texts today, I took him to lunch in which we had no appetite, I picked the girls up early to tell them about Bubba, we distracted ourselves with lots of outside activities, I made dinner, but I still can't fix it.
I've learned in the past few years that I'm not the emotionally supportive one in the family and with my friends, I am the doer. I am the person you can count on to do your errands, pick up and entertain your kiddos, I'll even clean up after you when your water breaks (no names listed), but somehow over the years I have stopped being the emotionally strong one. I don't know when or why this happened, but it did.
Maybe it's the type of work that I have done for years, HR is no joke. Maybe it's self-preservation, because I know that if an ASPCA commercial can make me sob than what in the world are real life people emotions going to do to me.
With all of that being said it is hard not being able to just be the "doer" in this situation. I just want to fix this, I just want his hurt to go away. I want him to wake up tomorrow excited about his new promotion, not saddened by his loss.
Of course it also brings back the memories of all of the other grandparents we have lost over the years and it's heartbreaking. Tonight when I was telling the girls what happened I had to explain that Daddy was feeling what the girls would feel if they lost their GG or YaYa. Oh their sad little faces went from shock, probably because they can't imagine a life without their grandmothers, to tears because of the obvious.
How much is the right amount to tell our children when something heartbreaking happens? Do you take them to the funeral or do you shelter them from the hurt? Do you allow them to see you cry or do you keep things as normal as possible? This parenting business is tougher than they warn you about.
Everyone call your families and give your loved ones at home an extra hug tonight and say a little prayer for those around you.
I sent extra texts today, I took him to lunch in which we had no appetite, I picked the girls up early to tell them about Bubba, we distracted ourselves with lots of outside activities, I made dinner, but I still can't fix it.
I've learned in the past few years that I'm not the emotionally supportive one in the family and with my friends, I am the doer. I am the person you can count on to do your errands, pick up and entertain your kiddos, I'll even clean up after you when your water breaks (no names listed), but somehow over the years I have stopped being the emotionally strong one. I don't know when or why this happened, but it did.
Maybe it's the type of work that I have done for years, HR is no joke. Maybe it's self-preservation, because I know that if an ASPCA commercial can make me sob than what in the world are real life people emotions going to do to me.
With all of that being said it is hard not being able to just be the "doer" in this situation. I just want to fix this, I just want his hurt to go away. I want him to wake up tomorrow excited about his new promotion, not saddened by his loss.
Of course it also brings back the memories of all of the other grandparents we have lost over the years and it's heartbreaking. Tonight when I was telling the girls what happened I had to explain that Daddy was feeling what the girls would feel if they lost their GG or YaYa. Oh their sad little faces went from shock, probably because they can't imagine a life without their grandmothers, to tears because of the obvious.
How much is the right amount to tell our children when something heartbreaking happens? Do you take them to the funeral or do you shelter them from the hurt? Do you allow them to see you cry or do you keep things as normal as possible? This parenting business is tougher than they warn you about.
Everyone call your families and give your loved ones at home an extra hug tonight and say a little prayer for those around you.
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