Selena Gasbarro

Our hearts are heavy today as we mourn the loss of Grant's grandmother, Bubba. He is hurting and there isn't anything that I can do to fix it. It's uncharted territory for me not to be able to fix something broken. At work if there is a problem, I fix it. Faucet at home is dripping, I fix it. The girls break something, I fix it. This however, I can not fix. I sent extra texts today, I took him to lunch in which we had no appetite, I picked the girls up early to tell them about Bubba, we distracted ourselves with lots of outside activities, I made dinner, but I still can't fix it. I've learned in the past few years that I'm not the emotionally supportive one in the family and with my friends, I am the doer. I am the person you can count on to do your errands, pick up and entertain your kiddos, I'll even clean up after you when your water breaks (no names listed), but somehow over the years I have stopped being the emotionally strong one. I don't know

Just this week one of the associates who works on my team looked at me after a stressful day and she said, I was so wrong - how do you make all of this look easy. I wasn't exactly sure what my face looked like because on the inside I was torn between bursting in laughter or falling into a puddle of "you have got to be kidding me." In this situation we were talking about work and I'm a Sr Manager so my job is to protect my associates from knowing exactly what happens long before a project or decision ever gets to them and it's also my job to keep moral up so I don't want them to know how not easy some of my days are. I wish life was as easy as "check your personal business at the door." It's not, in fact I find it personally impossible. I was ecstatic to hear that my team hadn't picked up on all of the things running through my head as I hit that door by 7:30am. Am I the only one who has all of these feelings inside and are scared that peo