Selena Gasbarro

We all carry some kind of guilt, right? I do. I carry guilt over things small and large. Some of it is easy to shake and other guilt seems like it will never go away. There are somethings we can talk about and others that we keep private. What is amazing is the guilt that we put on ourselves. What we choose to carry around on our shoulders as if we don't already have the weight of the world already sitting there. We feel guilty about the way we treated someone 2o years ago, the shortcut we took at work yesterday and everything in between. Has it always been this way or has culture shifted so much that now it's heavier? There are days that I find myself guilty of the dumbest things, but in the moment they seem huge. For example, yesterday was my daughters birthday. I fell asleep on Thursday night much sooner than I intended to. I don't sleep a lot right now, so the fact that this happened was huge. All of a sudden I was wide awake at midnight because of one reason - I ...

Do you remember the Friends episode where Ross tells Rachel his fantasy is Princess Leia and he discovers that women tell their friends everything? Well let me tell you about my conversation with my friend tonight and you'll see that I am one of those women who really does tell everything. I love my friends, I love that when I am mad about work, family, my waistline, MY HUSBAND, or anything else I can call them to vent. They let me spew it all out, ask me any important questions and then laugh ridiculously at me until I can eventually laugh myself. So this happened tonight. I was steaming mad at Grant last night and I'm sure he'll be really glad to read about it on here, but that's his fault for encouraging my public mental health check. Anyway, I'm on the phone during my post work tangent and my friend, who will not be named because she is just as bad as I am, asks me if this is a short or long term problem. The only answer is to laugh and say, I still love him...

Things that I don't remember...the last time I took a shower without little eyeballs watching me through the glass door and asking me where something is OR going to the bathroom without a full blown conversation occurring within an arms length. Does that bathroom door even close? I used to worry about privacy and the girls being modest, but quite frankly I threw that right out the window when I realized that no one else cares about it in my house so why should I. Listen - I'm not saying I'm a nudist or anything, but it's not unusual for my kids to have full blown conversations with me while I'm trying to find clothes after getting out of the shower. At what point are these girls going to start caring? A has finally gotten to the age where modesty is starting to kick in for her. Daddy can't see her without a shirt on, we are talking about the kid who doesn't like to wear tank tops because someone may see her armpits. No way she will walk around the house ...

On this day we made it a PINK OUT. Not because it's October and everyone is celebrating. On this day all of HR was encouraged to wear pink for one reason, to support a coworker. I have a woman on my team who is single, supports her grown child, is a woman of God and now a cancer fighter. She lives a simple life of church and work and never asks for a thing. Today was a day to support a woman who is open about her condition, but all she asks for is a friendly ear when she needs it. Let me tell you how proud I am of my work team and all of the other teams who made today a special day. There were cake pops, fruit, cupcakes, brownies, pink lemonade, cards, streamers, balloons, and pictures of so many people wearing pink roaming the hallways. This wasn't a corporate sponsored event, this was purely a bunch of strangers brought together by work and a desire to support someone when they need it the most. I share this because my co-worker hasn't complained about her situation...

I love my girls birthday, I love celebrating the two little people who can make me angry and filled with joy all within about two seconds. I love celebrating that Grant and I made it through another year of whatever they threw at us without throwing our hands up and waving the white flag and allowing the little monsters to run the house. It wasn't until recently when I was having a conversation with a co-worker that made me question if our own little family tradition was odd or not. I don't buy my girls birthday gifts and if I do it's something small that they can open on the day of their birthday. Is that odd? I don't really know how or why I stopped buying them gifts, but reality is it was probably because I spent so much time on their parties that I forgot to buy them a gift one year and when they didn't notice we rolled with it. We have decided to forgo gifts and invest in a joint party for them. They can invite as many kids as they want, which is usually ...

How often do you sit back and think about what you will leave behind when you leave this Earth? I don't mean an inheritance for your children, I am talking about what you are truly going to be remembered and known for unless your inheritance is just that. My sister recently got married and there is a picture of 4 generations of the women in our family. None of us ruled the world, popped up on the big screen or have a building named after us and more than likely never will. However, there is a whole lot of personality and history captured in one image. I think about my grandmother who is in her late 80s, is still vibrant and healthy. I don't know what she would want us to remember about her life, but what I think of is a woman who raised 6 children - that alone is strength. I then think of her getting divorced a long, long, long time ago when it wasn't an acceptable practice. She then found the love of her life, my grandfather. They did everything together, no they weren...

This weekend I got a huge laugh. I was riding my bike to my friends house for reasons that involve me not being able to drive my car home later and at one point this teenage boy in his mom's SUV drove by and yelled, "look at that girl with the big ole butt." No, this is not where I start body shaming myself. I actually laughed because my first thought was, this kid wasn't even alive when all of the awesome 90's butt songs came out. Second thought - it may be dark outside, but hot damn I got a cat call. In reality I laughed so hard I almost fell off of my bike and couldn't wait to laugh with my friends. All of this comes down to how often do you say "remember when" when referring to your teenage years in the 90s.  Remember when... I used to rock those overalls with a tight tank top, no bra and Birkenstock? Am I too old to do that again as long as I throw a bra on? I mean I wouldn't want to scare anyone. The meaning of "wax on, ...

Yes, we have smart phones that are dinging at us constantly with our to-do lists and reminders, but that's not what I'm thinking about today. I'm talking about the reminders we need as women. The reminders that we are more than a mommy. We need to remember that before we were a mommy we were young, vibrant, independent smart beauty queens and that's how we became mommys. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I've been the mom and know plenty of moms who have determined there is no point in putting on anything but yoga pants because it's not like what I look like matters. Hole in my shirt, who cares, it will probably have puke or paint on it by the end of the day anyway. New clothes for me, nah, kids clothes are much cuter anyway. I've been the mom and know plenty of moms who abandon my own evenings out with friends because I spent the entire day running to 10 different kid activities and now I'm too exhausted to move and put on something other than yoga pants ...

As I start this, please know that I like being a working mom. I like the mental challenge, I like the work connections, I like the independence I feel, and quite frankly I like getting out of the house. So here we go...I am sitting here on Sunday evening struggling to keep my eyes open after a very busy weekend. I'm going through my mental checklist of what lunches are packed (including my own), what I'm going to wear tomorrow, what time am I going to get up, will I actually make it to the gym in the morning and on this particular night all of these thoughts suck. Yep, I'm the one sad person who will be on the highway at 7am heading to work while everyone is at home playing in the sunshine. I always have this debate on whether to take the days off surrounding the holidays. Positives of going to work - no traffic, quiet day allows me to get my laundry list of tasks accomplished, I fill in for others on my team so they can take off (taking my good manager bow), I have anot...