Hurricane of Emotions
Today I went to work, the girls had soccer practice and I took a walk with a friend, so why do I feel so guilty...
The world had been anticipating and watching Hurricane Irma as she approached land. When I say the world I don't feel like I'm exaggerating because I was in Canada and it was on every tv. A little difficult to relax with friends when all you can think about is your family at home bracing for the storm.
I tried to get home before the storm, but that didn't happen. So there I sat glued to a tv watching my beloved city get torn apart. There wasn't anything I could do to help what was happening, but in hindsight there wasn't anything that anyone could do, Mother Nature was on her own mission.
I kept in touch when family was able to make outbound calls and text, but the brunt of the storm came through the night. No one was able to sleep through the howls of the wind and tree limbs hitting the house. I couldn't sleep many states away because I didn't know what was going on at home. I was panicking because I didn't know what was happening, but the news was showing me what Irma had done through the rest of the state.
Irma was in my neighborhood even when I wasn't and she was making a mark that no one would forget or shake. Facebook post after post with co-workers, neighborhood acquaintances, friends, family of friends were all posting their devastation. There were pictures of water rising over bulkheads, furniture bobbing around in houses with 6 feet of water, our neighborhood pool now filled with river water, my favorite historic streets couldn't be seen anymore because rushing water had replaced concrete.
I eventually was able to fly home, knowing that my family and my house were ok. My neighbors were ok, my parents and sister were ok, but I wasn't sure what to visually expect when I got home.
I left the airport, drove south and there were no real signs of a hurricane along the highway, just a big storm that had rolled through. As I got closer to home it was becoming real. There were trees down and then when I crossed the bridge into Fleming Island I looked over the water and where there were backyards and docks along the St Johns River there were no more. The entrance to my neighborhood had giant trees down and the parkway was down to one lane, but the houses were mostly ok. What I didn't do was drive to the end of my street to see the damage to the homes on the river. I couldn't do it, I couldn't see what would have happened if I lived less than half a mile closer.
We knew she was coming, though no one knew the wrath Irma would bring to our city and community. So yes, I have guilt. I have guilt that I wasn't here with my family through the storm. I have guilt that my house wasn't damaged when my friends have lost everything. I have guilt that today life was normal while some of my neighbors don't have a place to sleep tonight or anywhere in the near future.
My guilt is going to cost me a fortune in www.gofundme.com contributions and an increase in SEGCares charitable contributions at work. I have a huge desire to work and help those that need me. I have volunteered Grant and I for anything that our community needs.Anyone touched by Irma or any other natural disaster please know that you are in our hearts.
We have braved hurricanes before in Ormond Beach and Fleming Island, but Irma was a force to be reckoned with.
The world had been anticipating and watching Hurricane Irma as she approached land. When I say the world I don't feel like I'm exaggerating because I was in Canada and it was on every tv. A little difficult to relax with friends when all you can think about is your family at home bracing for the storm.
I tried to get home before the storm, but that didn't happen. So there I sat glued to a tv watching my beloved city get torn apart. There wasn't anything I could do to help what was happening, but in hindsight there wasn't anything that anyone could do, Mother Nature was on her own mission.
I kept in touch when family was able to make outbound calls and text, but the brunt of the storm came through the night. No one was able to sleep through the howls of the wind and tree limbs hitting the house. I couldn't sleep many states away because I didn't know what was going on at home. I was panicking because I didn't know what was happening, but the news was showing me what Irma had done through the rest of the state.
Irma was in my neighborhood even when I wasn't and she was making a mark that no one would forget or shake. Facebook post after post with co-workers, neighborhood acquaintances, friends, family of friends were all posting their devastation. There were pictures of water rising over bulkheads, furniture bobbing around in houses with 6 feet of water, our neighborhood pool now filled with river water, my favorite historic streets couldn't be seen anymore because rushing water had replaced concrete.
I eventually was able to fly home, knowing that my family and my house were ok. My neighbors were ok, my parents and sister were ok, but I wasn't sure what to visually expect when I got home.
I left the airport, drove south and there were no real signs of a hurricane along the highway, just a big storm that had rolled through. As I got closer to home it was becoming real. There were trees down and then when I crossed the bridge into Fleming Island I looked over the water and where there were backyards and docks along the St Johns River there were no more. The entrance to my neighborhood had giant trees down and the parkway was down to one lane, but the houses were mostly ok. What I didn't do was drive to the end of my street to see the damage to the homes on the river. I couldn't do it, I couldn't see what would have happened if I lived less than half a mile closer.
We knew she was coming, though no one knew the wrath Irma would bring to our city and community. So yes, I have guilt. I have guilt that I wasn't here with my family through the storm. I have guilt that my house wasn't damaged when my friends have lost everything. I have guilt that today life was normal while some of my neighbors don't have a place to sleep tonight or anywhere in the near future.
My guilt is going to cost me a fortune in www.gofundme.com contributions and an increase in SEGCares charitable contributions at work. I have a huge desire to work and help those that need me. I have volunteered Grant and I for anything that our community needs.Anyone touched by Irma or any other natural disaster please know that you are in our hearts.
We have braved hurricanes before in Ormond Beach and Fleming Island, but Irma was a force to be reckoned with.
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