Selena Gasbarro

Let me start by saying how shocked, amazed and supported I have felt since my last post about getting a hysterectomy. I received so many private messages that it was overwhelming. What amazed me is how many of you reading this right now have gone through exactly what I am going through. Maybe amazed isn't the right word, I should probably use the word shocked. Have you seen the show Handmaids Tale? If you haven't, you must binge on Hulu. The premise is that women are kept as reproductive servants because of a declining population. The ruling class of men believe that women have focused too much on being independent, career focuses and sexually active that they now longer can bare children. I know it sounds bizarre, but trust me, you must watch this. Why am I bringing this up? This freaking show and the amount of young women receiving hysterectomies and having reproductive issues has given me the tv freak out. It's just like when you watch a scary movie and you just know...

I've been MIA, but I swear there is a reason that I abandoned my not so anonymous rantings. I've been completely distracted with my own thoughts, self loathing, anxiety, fear, you name it and it's probably crossed my mind in the last few months. Ironically today, the day that I was supposed to start a 8 week leave of absence from work to get my guts cut out, is the day that I finally have the urge to put my words down.  So here is the breakdown of the last few months. I've not been feeling well, I'm going to save you all of the gory details, but they involved me walking around very uncomfortably and looking 8 months pregnant and there was also a lot of blood involved. After months of dealing with this I finally went to the doctor and much to my surprise he sat me down after my exam and yep, he used the C word. So what does everyone do when their doctor says that they have to come back for a biopsy to rule out uterine cancer, they go to work to try to completely f...